I made a peanut butter and pickle sandwich.

jar of bread n butter pickles, peanut butter, sirarcha, honey, two pieces of bread one spread with peanut butter the other pickles with honey and sirarcha on a blue plate.

Yes, I joined a cult founded by the New York Times recipe section, with their fondness for discussing weird shit that’s trendy right now even though it’s usually not nearly as tasty as they claim.

But this time it’s different. This time, the trendy weird thing turned into an inspiration, an improvement, on what in my opinion was the pinnacle of late night stoner snacks, the peanut butter, cock sauce, and honey sandwich. By the time I got around to wondering how pickles would be on it, I had moved into a phase of my life where new innovations in late night stoner snacks had lost their relevancy. But I still eat peanut butter, sriracha, and honey sandwiches.

Look, this is all science fiction author Chuck Wendig’s fault. This isn’t some random act of heresy, I think I actually toned things down a bit. He put bacon and mayonnaise on his, okay? I was reading his blog instead of working earlier today, and I needed to run by the store on the way home to pick up stuff for dinner anyways. So… I grabbed some bread ‘n butter pickles.

Then I went home. I made a sandwich.

It was weird.

jar of bread n butter pickles, peanut butter, sirarcha, honey, two pieces of bread one spread with peanut butter the other pickles with honey and sirarcha on a blue plate.

The crunchy pickle texture over the smoothness of the peanut butter. But the sweetness and brine of the pickle added a new layer to a sandwich I’ve been eating for years. It seemed to bring out a smokiness of the sriracha that I’d never noticed before. Like Chuck says in his post, it had a lot of the flavor levels of Thai food, a little savory, a little sweet, with that brine undertone that brings everything together.

It was weird.

It was also delicious.

I’ll probably do it again.

Also, I am back, the blog is back, this summer is going to be a serious matter of kicking the asses of my psychological and spiritual enemies and writing their names down in a be-spelled grimoire that will give me ultimate power over all the daemons that once tortured me.

Translation: I’m going to write a lot and I’m taking coding classes.

Lunch Thoughts – How Awesome are Microwaves?

cheese sandwich with text - lunch thoughts with jenn burroughs cheeseandglory.com

cheese sandwich with text - lunch thoughts with jenn burroughs cheeseandglory.comWhile microwaving my leftover pad thai in the office breakroom, I found myself thinking about what an incredible invention the microwave really is. Food can be heated quickly and efficiently, and despite sitting for days we can zap it back to a stomach bug-free state in a few minutes. It’s kind of amazing.

I wanted some data on this, something strong numbers that can be pasted on a ridiculous info graphic about the general awesomeness of microwaves. So I turned to Google, to ask some important questions:

  • Do we eat leftovers more often than we did pre-microwave?
  • Do we get food poisoning from leftovers less often than the pre-microwave dark ages?

(I did not call my grandpa because I’m at work on my lunch break.)

a microwave catches on fire, blond woman in bathrobe is frightenedI was genuinely surprised that I couldn’t bring up any scientific papers or books on either subject. What came up instead was a proposal from 2011 to take all the food waste, burn it up in a gigantic microwave, and use this process to harvest or create various organic materials, such as biofuel.

I thought the BBC article was some kind of prank, because it talked extensively about a Brazilian project calling itself OPEC. Most people know of the economic power OPEC, the Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries. This Brazilian OPEC, however, was calling itself the Orange Peel Exploitation Company. Really, how could anyone not take that seriously?

I dug a little deeper, and it turns out the entire thing is real. There’s a scientific paper out there on the catalytic pyrolysis of food waste by microwave heating, which is such a fabulous way to say “burn all the things in a microwave.”

So, no solid information on the effect that microwaves have had on longevity, agricultural economics, or food safety trends can be found easily.

Google thinks that the most relevant answer to my serious questions about how awesome microwaves are is a long ago fizzled out plan by some mad scientist in England who wanted to throw all the orange peels into a gigantic microwave oven and create mountains of ash and orange oil.