My friends, today is a historic day for the Internet, and digital communication at large.
The taco emoji will be part of the Unicode 8 release, which brings us 37 new emojis and several modifiers. It will take some time for Apple, Google, and other messengers to incorporate the new emojis, so the taco emoji is not immediately available on anyone’s phone. But it will be there soon.
Apparently Taco Bell is trying to take credit for the addition of the taco emoji via a Change.org petition they had a massive social media campaign for. I am a little horrified by that, as a vegetarian native Texan who basically lives off of real TexMex-style tacos and isn’t really sure what that shit is that Taco Bell sells.
And yet I do believe that the taco is a holy thing, a perfect food gifted to us from Divinity (possibly the only true evidence of the existence of Divinity either within or without humanity), and will always be able to shake off the corporate stank of pseudo meat product.
I shall now subject you to a quote about the nature of Evil from the Enchiridion of Augustine, a treatise on Christian piety from the 5th century:
“If there were no good in what is evil, then the evil simply could not be, since it can have no mode in which to exist, nor any source from which corruption springs, unless it be something corruptible. Unless this something is good, it cannot be corrupted, because corruption is nothing more than the deprivation of the good. Evils, therefore, have their source in the good, and unless they are parasitic on something good, they are not anything at all.“
Taco Bell is freaking Evil, but no matter what they do, they can’t truly taint the taco. The taco is holy. The taco shall overcome. The taco now inhabits Unicode. The taco, in its true tortilla-wrapped form, is forever.